Assalamu alaykum

 

So when people ask me how I am…

I say “Alhmaudlilah”, those who really know me, probe further.

“No how ARE you?”

My reply, “just keeping busy”

Then yesterday, my dear sister in Islam, said “You’re keeping busy because of what has happened”

I say “hmm” in a half agreement….

Recently I have been really dazed out… not really with it. I have been detached from the dunya. Which has been reallygood in some ways, I have been more focused on Allah. On the other hand I have in some ways become a different person, being dazed out detaches you not only from the dunya but also to those in the dunya. Can I really detach myself so much that I become emotionally isolated…. but how can I possible let that happen, how am I to continue to be a counsellor (in training), how can I continue to be the ‘bintyaqub’ everyone knows….?

As I have said my fathers departure has made me re evaluate and concenrate on my purpose. But I am now beginning to relised that maybe I have taken too much on too fast. Its my way of dealing with it I suppose. But now I can see it may lead to something that will be detrimental to my ultimate aim….

I think I may need to slow down….

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