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You know what I just relised, im not over it yet, I know it’s a bit late, called it delayed reaction, call it whatever you want, but I miss abu so much….

 

I really need to speak to him about stuff especially my life. I always would ask him what I should do, even if he didn’t give me an answer he would just tell me a story about his childhood, even though it may not have made sense but I know he was teaching me morals, he was telling me indirectly, see I found a way out, I found out what to do… so can you.

 

It’s late, I am supposed to be doing my coursework, but I cant… I’m numb, I cant focus, I cant see beyond his room,  his things, this computer that he built for me, the table I am resting on that he bought, the chair I sit on, he once sat.

 

I think I need to go and pray Isha’ now, I need to find solace with Allah…

Assalamu alaykum

I love this, I feel a bit grounded when hearing about meeting Allah. This is our ultimate goal, in our list of priorities… this is the highest, most important, most urgent!

assalamu alaykum

So I had to delete some text messages from my phone (not enough storage space), so was deleting some of the messages sent by my beloved sisters at the time of my father’s passing….

When reading those words, they truly touched my heart, and yes the tears are gushing. These tears aren’t just for my lose, but for the sisters that I have around me. So much love and beautiful unity, my sisters are apart of me and I hope I am apart of them. I would read these texts for comfort and motivation… I pray I will be able to our friendship and sisterhood justice, that Allah increases this love and mercy between us, and raises us up as righteous companions on the Day of Judgement. Ameen.

Here are some of the messages:

From NA

Goodnight my beloved sis. May Allah protect you and you family and guide and help ease you through this time. Ameen. Every time I look up and see the starts I think of uncle 🙂 because you know why? The first time I met him he showered me with his beautiful knowledge of stars and constellations. The beauty of the stars was just like his heart… My Allah allow his soul to emanate and shine bright in his grave of rest and on the last day of rising just like how the brightness of the stars shines down on earth, Ameen ya Rabb!XxX

From FA

Salam, how is everyone? You, family? and your brother? how is he coping? Inshallah he will manage it, he seemed mature, time is a great healer, over time, him and everyone will come to term with unsubtitutable loss and the reality of life, he was a good person and Inshallah left good children behind, keep on doing good work and he will keep receiving rewards Inshallah. Ws

From ZH

Salaam. How are you? I know the house must feel empty without Abu but he is in a best place without pain. His soul must be so at peace. Alhmaudlilah. My words cannot comfort you but may Allah heal your pain and of your family. Ameen

From ZH

“Indeed, Allah is with the patient”…So be patient; indeed, the (best) outcome is for the righteous.”…For indeed, Allah does not allow to be lost the reward of  those who do good” and will reward them for what they patiently endured with a garden in Paradise and silk garments”. Your always in my duas. And in Allah ta’ala we relied X

 

 

I have the following advice for sisters who get married and may experience difficulty in keeping up with knowledge:

1. Keep your intentions pure and never give up. Your reward is with your intention. As long as you keep your intentions pure, you will receive the same Ajar if not more inshaAllah, if your circumstances end up preventing you from knowledge. So don’t be of those who say – khalas, I am married and I have a child and so knowledge is not for me any more, or of those who give up in a state of depression.

2. We live in the time of audio and recordings – Use tapes and audio as much as possible to counter the in ability to attend classes with teachers.

3. Rekindle the love for knowledge with your husband – Read a hadeeth a day and your husband a verse of the Quran and its tafsir every day before going to bed – keep the books by your bedside so you don’t forget and make it a habit so that you don’t forget.

4. Keep a particular book next to certain routine tasks that you do and make it a habit to read that book everytime you do that routine. Example: If you go out of the house to drop off the kids to school in the morning, ensure that you get out of the house 10 minutes early whilst hte car is warming up and make sure that you use this 10 minutes to read 1 page of tafsir – and keep the tafsir book in your car and put up a sign near the speedometer that says – have you read your tafsir for today? etc.. I used to do this and in this way I went through most of the Tafsir of the Quran from AshShawkani’s Tafsir – even though Tafsir was something that we didn’t give much priority to in our time in Medinah.

5. Keep a study partner – like a sister who also wants to study as bad as you – and ask her to study a part and summarize to you what she learnt whilst you study another part and summarize to her – in this way, you can gain more knowledge in less time.

InshaAllah if u do these few steps it will go a long way. The trick is to remain consistent. If you can remain consistent, then you will get there even if it takes longer.

There is something my Sheikh used to always tell me. He used to tell me:
Remember: EASING OF THE PATH TO JANNAH IS BASED UPON MAKING THE EFFORT, NOT UPON ACHIEVING THE RESULT!!

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