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Assalamu alaykum


Searching cyber space, I came across this from Abu Qutaybah’s blogspot

I beg you all to take lessons from what we have been taught from Quran and sunnah. Allow our parents to be proud of us, be pleased with us, so when we attain their happiness and have pleased our Lord


Umm Salamah (May Allah be pleased with her) reported: The messenger of Allah (saw) visited Abu Salamah (May Allah be pleased with him) when his eyes were open soon after he died. He closed them (the eyes) for him and said, “When the soul is taken away, the sight follows it.” Some members of his family began to weep. He (saw) said: “Do not supplicate for your selves anything but good, for the angels say “amin” to what you say.” Then he (saw) said, “O Allah! Forgive Abu Salamah, raise his ranks among those who are rightly-guided and grant him a successor from his descendants who remain behind. Grant his pardon and us, too. O Rabb of the Worlds. Make his grave spacious for him and give him light in it.” [Muslim]


I wanted to write something about this for a while, but I couldn’t. I knew it would be too hard, To be honest I started and stopped writing this so many times I’ve lost count!


My family and I knew that this day would come, we tried to prepare, but we made a mistake of preparing alone at first. Sometimes we need others to help prepare us, not just for death but the journey towards it. I read a quote, not sure where, it read “We are not living, but dying slowly”… how true, how simple yet how easy to forget.


A lot of those I first told of my fathers passing remarked how it has shocked them, how they never thought that he would go like that, and how they still can’t believe it. Yet why is it so difficult for us to comprehend mortality how difficult is it for us to face up to our own mortality? When I told me niece about here Nana Abu (grand father) she said she wished she would never die, yet that’s how we all live sometimes we live in the mentality of a five year old, ignoring the fact that we won’t live forever.


My father’s end was peaceful, Alhmauldilah, it was something none of us will ever forget, although we knew he had 6 to 12 months to live, for me it only really sunk in a couple of months before he died.


You know, they say with time it becomes easier, but I have to disagree, I think that with time you become stronger in faith and courage to some extent. People can always talk about death and they know that they will die one day, but when you are staring death in the face, that’s when it hits you, that’s when I knew that there is a hereafter. My dad deteriorated in the last couple of weeks and within those weeks he knew he was going, it felt like he even knew the time because he would always ask about the prayer times (we have 5 in a day) and he would always ask us about Asr (mid afternoon prayer) and Maghrib (sunset prayer). He actually died just before Maghrib, 10 minutes in fact. He stopped talking to us on Thursday and died on Friday. On Thursday before he stopped talking, he repeated the shahaadaa many times with us, we would say ‘lailaha illalah’ he would continued saying ‘muhamad durasulalha, lailaha illalah, muhamad dursaulalha’, he then gave us all salams, two or three times, lay back down again and went to sleep. Now and again on Thursdays he would sit up and it would look as if he would get up be looking at something, his stares were deep and scary… he was literally looking death in the eye. Its a powerful and faith building to see, someone dying in front of you.


My non Muslim friend asked me if I was angry! Never did that emotion come into my heart, although you do feel a wave of emotions filling your heart and soul, anger is not one of them. I think one of the reasons why it didn’t is because I had comfort in knowing that he has gone to a better place, there were many good signs of his end, and till this day there is still a source of comfort when I think back on those signs. All of us have to go one day, Allah saw it fit to take my daddy at this time. He gave me  the best thing in the world, Allah gave me the best dad, in ways which no one but me will understand. When the time was right, when Allah knew I was able to handle it, He took my dad to the next stage of his life. My mum says it feels like he’s gone somewhere and we will see him soon. I replied and said that’s exactly what it is, he’s gone to Allah, his journey in this life has ended, but as for us, we still have travelling to do, how long that will take, we don’t know. That’s why we must take as much provisions and prepare as much as we can for death.


We’re still sorting his stuff out, it takes time, and of course it hurts. But the person that the things belong to no longer needs it, how could he when he is in a place free from worldly needs and pursuits.


As time goes on, I think I have grown in emaan and character, and I hope Allah gives me the ability to continue to do so.


“Indeed, for a long time a man would do deeds of the people of Jannah – as it appears to people – but he is(ultimately) from the people of the Fire. And indeed, for a long time a man would do deeds of the people of the Fire – as it appears to people – but he is (ultimately) from the people of Jannah. Indeed, deeds are only by their conclusion” (Al-Bukhari [2898, 4203, 4207, 6493, 6607], Muslim [112] and others)

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